Book of Remembrance: The Forgotten Gods: Book One Read online

  Running a hand through his unruly mop of curly hair, he gave me a reassuring smile. “I may not have been through this yet, but from speaking to others, that’s normal. Everyone feels that way. Just remember that the Cha would not have initiated your Induction if he did not feel that you were ready.”

  Prea was only a year my senior, but ever since we were young he was always the one to go to with a problem. He had a cool calm approach to all things and his innate wisdom tended to lead us in the right direction.

  “I know you’re right. I think the anticipation is the worst. I almost wish I was on my way already.”

  He stood up. “Soon enough. First, breakfast.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

  Row upon row of tables and chairs filled the large room. The communal dining area was open to the whole town and by the time we walked in it was already crowded. Having loaded our plates up, we joined Jamber and Jench at a table in the far corner. “Where is Wilm?” I asked as we sat down.

  “The Kichwa has called him and Brant in for the witness statements,” Jamber said.

  I grimaced. I’d forgotten about that. My conversation with Jamber the previous night had unsettled me. I still was not sure what to think of what had happened. I was just hoping that Brant had not seen anything unusual. If he said anything along the lines of what Jamber had said, it would call the whole Hunt into question. The slightest mention of this and the Kichwa would take great pleasure in putting a stop to my Induction.

  Jench must have seen my unease. “You have nothing to worry about, Kadin,” he said. “We were all there. We know that it was conducted in a legitimate way. That’s all this is about.” He gave me a reassuring smile.

  I looked over to Jamber and I saw my own apprehension reflected in his dark eyes. “I expect we will all be called to gather around midday to hear the Kichwa’s decision,” he said. “You need to be ready. Once he speaks the verdict you will have to leave immediately.”

  The solemn look on his face told me of the double meaning to his words; if the Kichwa should decide that the Hunt was not authentically executed, I would have to leave the Tretakai. I would be exiled. My stomach tightened to a hard knot at the thought.

  When the call to assemble in the village square came, my heart started racing. It felt as if I had a bird in my chest trying frantically to escape. I’d already said my farewells to Moma and Lilana, but my brothers were standing with me. For all his confidence earlier, Jench had tension etched all over his face.

  The Kichwa stepped onto the dais, his face solemn. I had to fight off an urge to sneak to the back of the crowd and disappear.

  Wilm was standing next to Brant behind the Kichwa, but I could not read the expression on his face. The Kichwa cleared his throat and the crowd hushed. “The Witness has given his report and I have gathered all the evidence.” He paused for a long moment, his eyes scanning the crowd until they found me; his mouth tightened and his chin lifted up a fraction.

  “I hereby affirm the authenticity of Kadin Aken’s Hunt and therefore, the commencement of the Seeking,” he said, his hate-filled eyes still holding mine. His face was a mask now, but I could see the loathing simmering beneath the surface.

  “The Seeking will commence immediately. Bring forth the mount,” the Kichwa said.

  Overwhelming relief swept through me. A huge cheer broke out through the crowd and my elated brothers enveloped me in hugs. Brak was jumping up and down with all the excitement around him, his purple tongue flapping about sending spittle flying.

  Breen, the young stable boy, led a horse to me with my permitted provisions already strapped to the saddle. As I mounted the huge pitch-black mare, the Cha rode up next to me on a chestnut gelding. He was a spindly man. His snow-white hair fell to his shoulders and his face was a map of deep crisscrossing lines. One who did not know who the Cha was may have taken him for a frail old man until he met his eyes. They spoke of wisdom and power. He was to accompany me into the forest to give me guidance for the Seeking and preparation for what I would have to achieve before returning home.

  People lined the street up to the city gate. As usual, I scanned the faces for Aliana. She was standing near the back with her mother. She looked sullen. Her mother was talking to her, shaking a finger about and scowling. She looked away in the distance and without a word to her mother stalked away. I wondered what that could have been about. I pushed thoughts about Aliana out of my mind and enjoyed the moment. Sitting on my horse and riding out between the cheering crowds gave my confidence a boost.

  Once we were out of the gates we picked up the pace, the Cha leading the way west. He was a man of few words and for the next few hours of riding, he kept his silence, not even responding to my attempts at small talk.

  Finally, we slowed to a walk and at a seemingly arbitrary spot, he stopped and nimbly jumped off his horse. I dismounted as well and unsaddled the horses. I did not bother tying them up, trusting to their good training to keep them near.

  Dusk was coming in and still without a word, the Cha set about making a fire. I gathered kindling and soon we had a fire going. The Cha looked over to me. “Sit,” he said.

  I obeyed and watched as he started grinding up various plants and herbs. As he was doing this, he gave me a measuring look and said, “You are not Tretakai.”

  My stomach dropped. “Do you think this is a bad thing, Kadin?”

  I looked at his face hoping to find some clue as to what he expected of me. “I have always wanted to fit in,” I said. “To have people’s approval. I feel I have been judged by my birth.”

  He gave me a wry smile. “You do not think we are all judged by our birth? Would the Kichwa’s daughter not have a different expectation of life than the farmer’s daughter?”

  I was about to object that it was different in my case when he continued. “Is the approval of the town of such great importance to you? Yes, I can see that it is so let me rephrase the question. Why is this so important to you?”

  I had never actually given the ‘why’ of this matter much thought. I took a minute to gather my thoughts. Several times, I opened my mouth to start speaking only to shut it again to rethink my words. “Well, I suppose that even the farmer’s daughter still has her place in the community. She belongs. Nobody looks at her and wonders why she is there. I guess what I mean to say is that because I do not feel accepted or approved of I have always felt adrift. As if growing up with the Tretakai is only a transient part of my life and not really my home.”

  The Cha had a pensive look upon his face. “So you think that this feeling of being detached from the Tretakai stems from them not accepting you.” He said this more as a statement of fact than a question, so I waited for him to continue. “Have you not considered that this may truly stem from within you? That you do not feel easy where you are, because you are not yet where you are supposed to be, or for that matter, doing what you are supposed to do? Think on this: Has this notion of discontent grown more intense over the past few years?”

  In fact, it had, but I had put this down simply to growing older and becoming more aware of my environment and the people in it. “I am sure also,” he said, “that you would tell me that it has seemed to lessen ever since you started learning the Navitas.”

  Before I could formulate an answer, the Cha spoke once again. “You know that I foresaw your coming, Kadin. I sent your moma to collect you from the forest. You growing up amongst the Tretakai was no coincidence. You feel adrift because you are. You must fulfill your training with the Seeking, but then you will move on. There are a great many things you do not know, young Kadin. Many you must discover on your own, but one I will grant you.”

  The Cha dipped his finger into the herb mix he had prepared. He put a kettle over the fire and brought water to the boil. He added the mixture, making it into a kind of tea and started chanting in a low hoarse voice. He was speaking a tongue that I did not recognise.

  The tea started to smoke, but smoke was the wrong word for it. It was as if
mist was rising from it. It turned blue, the colour of the sky on a particularly cold day in winter. It started swirling and forming patterns. Just as I thought I could distinguish an image in the mist it dissipated and started again. Finally, the Cha dipped a cup into the kettle and set it to one side. He removed the kettle from the fire and poured the remaining tea into an empty water skin. Once it had cooled, he handed me the cup gesturing for me to drink.

  After one sip, I shuddered, lowering the cup. It had a foul, bitter taste. The Cha gave me a stern look. I grimaced, but forced myself to finish the rest. “Each night you must drink a cup of this until none remains,” he said.

  I nodded my agreement. In truth, I was a little disappointed. I was expecting some instant reaction, some revelation to come to me…. but nothing.

  Then the Cha continued. “Your parents only knew each other for a few months before marrying. Her parents did not approve of the match, but your mother could be as stubborn as a mule. Your father was not from Merandal as she was. That in itself would have been enough to earn the disfavour of your grandparents, but there was more. You see your father was…. different. He had peculiar eyes that could, it was rumoured, look right into a man’s soul. Some folk even spread tales saying that they had seen his eyes glowing.”

  As the Cha spoke, vivid images came unbidden into my mind. It was as if I was in a different place. My mother was standing in her garden looking out over a field of wild flowers. She wore her long blonde hair in a thick braid down her back, her stomach swollen with child and she rested her hand protectively on her bump.

  Behind her, was their house in Merandal. It was a cosy cottage at the foot of a hill with a beautiful wooden door, carved with intricate designs all along the frame. My father came out of the house and walked up to her. He had a strong face with a square jaw, his skin dark from long hours in the sun. His ash blonde hair was short and his eyes. They were exactly like mine. Ice blue. The eyes that had set me so apart from the Tretakai. The eyes that were rumoured to glow as Jamber said mine had during my Hunt. It was clear though that neither of them were aware of my presence.

  “It was thus, that he was not only disliked by your grandparents, but the whole town mistrusted him as well. Soon after the wedding, your mother, Nereem, fell pregnant with you. She was overjoyed, as was your father, Rekaw. All was well, or so it seemed.

  “The day before your birth had started like any other. Your mother had gone to the market early to get some things for breakfast that morning, but this is where it all changed. A man approached her with a warning.”

  It was as though I was standing next to her listening to the old man with the ice blue eyes warn her of terrible danger. I could see her panic growing as she watched the old man disappear into the crowds.

  “She rushed home,” the Cha continued, “but there her grief started. She burst into the door only to find Rekaw on the floor lying in a pool of blood. His throat had been cut, but not before he had been tortured. He had numerous cuts all across his body and his left eye had been removed. Your mother bent over him and whispered a prayer for his departed soul.”

  I stared down in horror at the disfigured body of my father, my mother bent over him murmuring, her voice too low for me to hear; tears were running down her face. She kissed him on the forehead and stood up. It was too terrible to look at and yet I could not draw my gaze away.

  “Your mother knew that there was nothing more that she could do for him and if she stayed, she and her baby, you, would be next. It might already have been too late, but your father not only kept from giving them any information, but he had managed to misdirect the pursuers.

  “She put some travel food in a bag, slung your father’s hunting bow and quiver full of arrows over her shoulder and set off immediately.

  “She ran into the forest. She looked over her shoulder, scanning for pursuers when she stumbled over some tree roots. A searing pain burst through her shoulder. She stopped and looked down to see a hole in her shoulder where an arrow had pierced. Had she not stumbled the arrow would have been through her heart.”

  I gasped, shocked to see my mother in such a terrifying situation. I wanted to help her, but of course no matter how real it seemed, it was only a vision and no action of mine had any effect. In a heartbeat, she jumped behind a tree to take shelter. I looked at my mother’s face expecting to see the horror of the situation reflected in her eyes, but what I saw was composed determination. With steady hands took the bow from her shoulder and nocked an arrow.

  She glanced out from behind the tree catching a glimpse of her assailant. She took a deep breath and stepped out again and, taking aim, drew the arrow back. The moment the pursuer broke his cover she let the arrow fly. It hit the man square in the chest piercing his heart and he dropped dead on the spot. She stepped back behind the tree. She peered around for several minutes – perhaps looking for other attackers.

  She tore a strip of fabric from the hem of her dress and tied it around her shoulder as tightly as she could. After a few minutes of careful listening, she slung the bow back over her shoulder and set off.

  “She ran for a day and a half,” the Cha said. “She was determined to save you, to make sure that your father’s sacrifice was not for naught. So she ran. She did not stop to rest when her feet first started hurting, nor when they were bleeding, not even when her waters broke.”

  It was as if I was floating on the wind beside her. There was sheer determination on her face as she raced through the trees. Finally, she stopped and after looking around, she forced her way into a narrow opening of a cave. My ears pricked when I heard soft footsteps approaching. I looked around and through the nearby brush I saw Moma approaching. She walked over to the cave and peered inside.

  I watched in wonderment as Moma assisted my mother in delivering me. My mother was saying something to Moma, but it was getting hard to hear and see what was going on. Everything was fading, but just before it all winked out, my mother looked at me.

  For that moment, she was aware of my presence, aware that I was watching. In her gaze, I found the deepest love I had ever known. It penetrated my soul and filled me with awe.

  She exhaled slowly and darkness swallowed me.

  CHAPTER 3 – The Teacher

  Dawn woke me the next morning. Groggy, I sat up and looked around trying to piece together what had happened the night before. Memories started trickling in to my awareness. For a long time, I just sat there remembering.

  Both my parents had sacrificed their lives for mine. The terrible pain my father endured haunted me. I shied away from the memory of his broken and twisted body on the cottage floor. Who would do such terrible things? Who killed my family and had tried to kill me…. and why? I wondered. Whoever these evil men were, I was increasingly apprehensive about it all. People determined enough to torture did not give up easily. One thing I was becoming certain of was that they would still be looking for me.

  The few belongings I had, had been packed neatly into the saddlebags next to my bedroll. The Cha and his horse were gone. My head felt thick and foggy so I undressed and washed in the stream. The freezing cold water helped to clear my head. I was still slightly at a loss as to what I was supposed to be doing.

  I filled my empty water skin with fresh water and dug an apple out of my saddlebag. For lack of a better idea, I started going through my Navitas focusing exercises. As always, Markai appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

  She stalked over and sat down next to me. Remembering what had happened last time, I tentatively reached over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. It was the most astonishing feeling; my whole body felt on fire, but at the same time, as though I had ice-cold water running under my skin. Markai had her eyes shut and she was purring softly.

  It was the first sound I had ever heard her make and I could not help but smile. We sat like that for a while. It was as if we were getting to know each other for the first time. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see how high the sun was already sitting
in the sky. I relaxed out of Navitas and watched with fascination, and some regret, how Markai seemed to turn to mist and blow away on the gentle breeze.

  I saddled my horse and gathered up the last of my things. I set off with no destination in mind, but it felt right to be on the move. When I focused my Navitas again, it somehow felt different now. At first, it had been like a new cloak made of rich wool. It felt nice to wear because it was new and soft and fresh. Now achieving and maintaining my Navitas was as comfortable as wearing seasoned boots; they fit perfectly, like a second skin. It was starting to feel more natural giving myself over to my Navitas than being without it.

  Markai trotted along beside my horse. The mare shied away from her, eyes big and darting from side to side as if trying to find the source of her agitation. I was sure it was only the horse’s training that kept her from bolting. That was intriguing. No other human, as far as I had been able to tell, could see or sense Markai and yet my horse was obviously acutely aware of her presence. Something had made Balder skittish, yet it did not seem like the horse could see her, so perhaps she could smell her.

  Clouds were gathering above my head so I decided to start looking for shelter. I found a cliff with a huge rock overhang and decided to stop for the day. I settled Balder and went out to hunt for dinner.

  It was not long before I spotted small tracks in the dirt. I was pretty sure it was forest rat and followed it. I spied the huge rat long before it spotted me. I moved upwind from it and stalked closer. Markai was also moving in on it. I realised that I must have focused my Navitas unintentionally.

  Markai launched into a run. The forest rat’s head jerked up and it gave a startled screech as she hit it with a powerful front paw. The rat flew twenty feet through the air before hitting a tree. I was so stunned I stopped in place. I gaped at Markai who was padding over to the dead rat. I walked over too and examined its body.